“There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.” --Arthur Dobrin
Respecting a person’s right to agree is not necessarily the same as agreeing to disagree. In my experience most people tend to disagree over the facts of a situation. The longer the disagreement goes on, the more likely the disagreement turns into an argument over petty details. Want to get down to brass tacks? Ask the other person what their intent was.
I remember going round and round with an ex about the facts of a situation. Our disagreement revolved around personal expectations within our open relationship. His position was meeting my girlfriend without letting me know was not a gross violation. My position was on the opposite end of the spectrum. After a few rounds of “How could you?” a light bulb went off. “You have been leaving the house to train for the Peanut Butter Bike Race; however, you end up tapping Joanne before you hit the trails. What was the purpose for not telling me about the pre-ride tune ups?”
The answer was, “It felt naughty.” The truth without attacking me or diminishing the relationship.
My response was, “You need to move out.” The truth without attacking him or diminishing the relationship.
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