"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." --Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, 1999
A bit of solid advice for a newcomer to the lifestyle is, “Go to your local munches.” I know, I know. Such a lame dried-out cliché. However I say it not for the reasons one would imagine.
“Go to munches and observe. People watch. You can tell so much from how kinky folk behave when we are in a vanilla setting and stripped of our paraphernalia. From your observations draw your own conclusions. And don’t spend so much time second guessing yourself.”
People make choices about how they treat others, how they treat themselves and how they view the world. You can glean so much from observing people and fully listening to their stories. My other snippet of advice is you should go to munches for several months before hooking up with play partners. Even longer before venturing into relationship connections.
Keep this in mind. If you want to be a serious member of the community, then act serious. Be respectful about how you approach others, how you talk about others. Be aware of how you handle yourself. Know people are paying attention to your choices.
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