“Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.” --Chinese Proverb
Hang around a Buddhist or two and you’ll hear a few ‘different’ terms: The Five Precepts, The Three Jewels, The Four Noble Truths and The Noble Eightfold Path. On the Middle Path one walks with the Right Something. And there are eight of them. One of the ‘Rights’ is the Right Action or the Right Conduct. One acts not because they are legally obligated, but because they are ethically bound.
Please keep a lookout for kinksters who prey upon the unsuspecting. Keep you eyes open for people whose actions contradict what they say. Understand that owning a few thousand dollars worth of toys is no guarantee a person is a first-class kinkster. It only means she knows how to shop. Does he claim to be subbie material looking for a Mistress, yet he consistently posts comments that are akin to cat calls on the profiles of a pretty young things? Does she usually have a snide comment here and there about people she calls friends? Do they say they are a poly-oriented couple, yet they never seem to stay in long-term poly relationships? Does he say he’s all about the Master/slave dynamic; however all he talks about is fucking?
Please keep a lookout for kinsters who seize upon opportunity to enhance the community. Keep your eyes open for people whose actions support what they say. Understand that when she pulls out her toy box and teachings you how to use the toys correctly is an invaluable gift. And it demonstrates she is a first-class kinkster. Does his FetLife profile say he’s looking for a Mistress and he consistently posts respectful comments in group discussions? Does she support everyone’s right to personal kinky expression? Does she talk about all aspects of the community without belittling anyone? Do they talk about the differences of open relationships, poly relationships and swinging, to include where they fall on the spectrum? Does he talk about seeking a slave while keeping his focus on events and groups dedicated to power exchange in relationships?
There is no law that keeps someone from posting cat call-ish comments on FetLife. And there is no law that keeps someone from enticing you with the sensual side of kink and dumping your ass once you displease them. There is no law against a person from misusing the sexually charged nature of our kinky community to jack off on your emotions. Or to mislead you about what they really want just so they can add another notch in their spanking belt. It is up to you to be safe with your behavior, to be sane with the choices you make regarding partners, and to be consensual with your actions towards others.
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