The No Asshole Rule

“The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple.” --Doris Janzen Longacre

It would take me hundreds of blog posts to give examples of how fucked up my life.  How I spent almost 30 years of not following my heart, my intuition to keep my life simple.  I love to travel and meet people; I enjoy trading stories and ideas.  I am my happiest when I am connecting with people.  Simple.  However I started to complicate my life with choices which took me into less simple waters.

“You’re so bright so why are you wasting your talents on traveling?”  “You have so much potential that you are letting go to waste.”  “Don’t you get bored?”  “How are you going to save for retirement?”

I listened to all these people give me their perfect advice.   They offered me opportunities and options to settle down.  I stopped listening and started acting.  And all that they promised and prophesized appeared to manifest.  However when the rough patches hit, my life went to shit.  When I would turn to others and ask for help, understanding or a temporary reprieve my words fell on deaf ears.

It has taken all this time for me to realize those people were where they wanted to be.  They were happy.  They became unhappy when I told them I was unfulfilled with the choices I had made.  The more I squawked, the more they would ramp up their efforts to force ‘compliance’.   My unhappiness threatened their belief that they had imparted the perfect guidance and counsel.  I mean, there was no way their advice may have been a misstep for me.

So today I tend keep to myself.  I share where I am on my journey.  I ask others where they believe they have journeyed on life’s path.  When I start hearing the ‘you should’ and the ‘you could’ statements flying about, I stay silent.   And then I keep whomever at an arm’s length.  I cannot live anyone’s idea of a joyful and creative life.  I want mine.  Simply mine.