August 10, 2011

 “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” –Salvador Dali

Well I came damn close at The Floating World a few weekends ago.  I bunked with excellent roomies.  I met wonderful people.  I attended great workshops.  Even though a couple ‘not so pleasant’ things happened, it was still as perfect as it could get. 

I have bunked with all the Negative Neds and have attended workshops with more than a few Unconstructive Ursulas.  I know about how the wrong mix of people can turn a great event into a below par gathering.  I believe it had to do with our positive attitudes.

THANK YOU to a few of the positive people who helped make TFW a ‘as close to perfection’ wonderful 5 days:  LonePariah8, b_playful, RavenBound, Bluerisk, LadyTasha, DuhGuy, MissBella, Sparkdog, SirTucket, InspiredWarrior, downlow, electricdave.  Thanx and vielen Dank!

August 9, 2011

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” –Rene Descartes

[Let me start by thanking the six steady readers of this blog.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!]

I sent a post to an event’s thread saying I was interested in find a roommate who already had a room.  I made what I thought was a witty and brilliant comment: quiet, neat, doesn’t snore and my shots were up to date.  I was chatting with someone a bit later.  They commented that perhaps I inadvertently offended  prospective roomies and perhaps my comment was a tad to dry for most tastes.

I thought about it, re-read my post, and realized their comment had merit.  If I miss out on half-priced accommodations, then so be it.  The post is out there.  I do not regret my choice of words; they speak to who I am.  However, who I am may be a bit lighter in the wallet because if no one replies, then I’ll have to secure accommodations for the full price.  Overall this is such a minuscule problem compared to other problems one has to deal with in life.

August 8, 2011

“Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.” –Robert Frost

A lovely lady and I were dancing one night.  I was having a great time.  She leans towards me and says loudly, “We only have --.”  I lean closer to her and say, “Excuse me?” and indicate I did not hear her.  She repeats herself, this time louder.  “We only have BDSM sex.”  I freeze for a few seconds, process what she just said, shrug, go back to dancing and continue having a great time.

The statement took me aback.  What does BDSM sex mean to her?  Does her Master realize what she told me?  How does this relate to the poly talks we’ve been having?  I figure, when the time comes they’ll ask me if I have questions about such an odd comment.  So time goes by.  I’ve been to their place before.  At that time, I was ready to hop into the sack.  Yet she said, “No.  It’s not the right time.”  He said he always defers to her decision.  The next time I go to their place I’m totally into the hockey game and stay planted on the couch.

It was the last time I went over to their place.  It really was the last time we all three sat down and talked.  And they never did explain what that comment had to do with poly.  My intuition told me it is what she says to other dominates to start a conversation about having me change my FetLife profile to ‘Switch’, add a D/s relationship tag that I am subordinate to them and then make available to them any slave, submissive or play partner I may have or consider.  There was no overt announcement or suggestion made to me.  I was strictly my intuition talking to me as I sat and meditated over that very simple statement: “We only have BDSM sex.”

And if I were to tell you (as Paul Harvey would say) ‘The Rest of the Story’, I could fill another two blog entries!  However what I want to say with this entry is this: Sometimes when people say nonsense things, it really is nonsense.

August 7, 2011

“Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself. Your body and mind will become clear and you will realize the unity of all things.” –Dogen Zenji

Our actions affect others, regardless of how much we delude ourselves into thinking otherwise.  When we are young it is easy to stay in invested in the delusions.  Like when I was a wild 19 year old and borrowed Laurie’s car to go on a date.  And when my date, Debbie, invited me back to her place, I had a choice:  wild night with a hot chick or getting the car back to Laurie so she could go to work later that morning.  I remember that night with mixed emotions.

Sex with Deb was H-H-H-O-T!  I’m still smiling about it almost 30 years later.  However when I got back home, Laurie was waiting for me.  The look on her face and the pain in her voice about all the trouble she was in due to calling off work at the last minute was the ice water that cooled the ‘next day’ warm afterglow.  Knowing I caused hurt and pain for a selfish reason was a wakeup call that has shaped me.

Terrifying to know there are people who continue to hurt others even after being witness to the anguish they’ve caused.  Pretty fucked up if you ask me.  One would hope that people would develop compassion and realize we are all connected.  Maybe that’s what drives people to continue hurting others.  They don’t have the balls to leave others out of their self-hate.    What a concept: nonconsensual surrogate suffering.

August 6, 2011

“Wow, look at the grass stains on my skin. I say, if you knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”  --Calvin and Hobbes

I’m flirty.  I like to have fun.  I dance when I hear good music and I don’t care where I am or who’s around.  I can talk to strangers as if we were BFFs.  On the flipside, I can sit in a room full of people and barely utter a peep.  I can sit by myself off in a corner and block out the world.  I can be outgoing one moment and reserved the next.  Classic Libra.  Typical me.  Either way, life is not waiting for me nor am I waiting for it.

August 5, 2011

“We were always dreaming of how it was going to be.”  –George Lucas

During my morning walk today a random thought passed through:  What would I do if I ever won the lottery?  Well, here’s my list.

Donate to the Zen Center, Deep Spring Temple.  Front load educational savings plans for some special people in my life.  Donate funds to a friend so she can start her non-profit educational group and art studio.  Create or add to an existing scholarship project for TG/TS students.  Start a Zen Center here in town.  Donate to the Disabled American Veterans organization.  Donate to Save the Children.  Create a foundation that buys small, local lots or pieces of land so families can grow their own fresh foods.  Buy a Motto Guzzi.

August 4, 2011

“Life is as dear to the mute creature as it is to a man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not to die, so do other creatures.” –His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I do not like people who leave a dog outside tied to a stake, outside and alone.  I will not give two shakes for a person who calls a dog to ‘come’ and then beats it.   I will never understand a person who choices to let their dog soil themselves in their kennel because they choose to stay at a party ‘just a few hours longer cuz I’m having so much fun”.