The Buddha Nature of a Layperson

“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.” –Harold Wilson

Many, many moons ago when petrol was almost half the cost it is today, traveling for several hours on Sundays to The Zen Center was affordable.  Now that petrol is where it is today in price, such travels are outside of my budget.  It goes to say today my practice is solitary.  No Zen centers or structured sitting groups here in this small hamlet.

Traditional Buddhists will say I am not practicing properly because I do not sit on a regular basis with a teacher.  In countries that have an established and prevalent Buddhist community such a view is feasible.  I say that viewpoint is impractical in the United States.  Access to the community is limited in most places.  And for many of us it does not exist.  Many of us will practice as laypersons without formal teachings.

Besides the scarcity of others to practice with, let alone a mentor or teacher to seek guidance from, I question the authorities who want me to believe the only way to be a fully practicing Buddhist is to be someone’s student.  In one breath I hear that the act of sitting is ‘the practice’.  In another I hear to sit is enlightenment.  And then a few breaths later I hear to fully practice and be a Buddhist one must sit regularly with a teacher.

I believe the American layperson practicing Buddhism in solitude is going to change the face of Buddhism.  I see it starting a new school, a new tradition.

Fear

“I never lie because I don't fear anyone.  You only lie when you're afraid.” --John Gotti

Pretty grand statement to make; him not lying and all.  Don’t know if he’s being honest, however, I know fear is a powerful motivator.  I know when I’ve acted out of fear, bad juju followed.  This is why I am drawn to Buddhism as a means to shed personal dissatisfaction from my being.  And it is why I write this blog.  To let you know you are not the only one.

Isolation occurs when we live with our fears too long.  We isolate ourselves or people push us away.

Self-imposed isolation occurs when you believe you cannot talk to anyone about “it”; therefore, you talk to no one.  It can be abuse, addiction, regret, shame, neglect, or a whole host of other circumstances.  The common denominator is you think you are the only one dealing with “it”.  Social isolation occurs when we’ve lied to others with such frequency people don’t want to be around us.  It is when people don’t want to be around the bullshit.

I hope my blog assures you that you are not alone.  Our experiences may be different, but our fears are the same.  Realize everyone has been on both sides of the spectrum.  Sitting and being quiet (meditating) has forced a sense of self-honesty that makes me, at times, very uncomfortable.

I understand how self-help groups can be beneficial to those of us who feel isolated because we can’t talk about “it”.  What Al-anon did for me was to realize I was not the only person who was taken to the cleaners by a person with a substance addiction.  What the group also showed me was this:  I was the only non-family member (parent, spouse, child) who attended.  I wasn’t married or related to Eric.  So as I sat with myself and meditated I asked, “Do you want to stay in fear?  Have you ever known him when he wasn’t an addict?  What’s makes you so special?  Do you really think he would get help while in a LTR with you? Can you admit you were just an easy mark, a sucker?  Can you forgive yourself?”