The No Asshole Rule

“The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple.” --Doris Janzen Longacre

It would take me hundreds of blog posts to give examples of how fucked up my life.  How I spent almost 30 years of not following my heart, my intuition to keep my life simple.  I love to travel and meet people; I enjoy trading stories and ideas.  I am my happiest when I am connecting with people.  Simple.  However I started to complicate my life with choices which took me into less simple waters.

“You’re so bright so why are you wasting your talents on traveling?”  “You have so much potential that you are letting go to waste.”  “Don’t you get bored?”  “How are you going to save for retirement?”

I listened to all these people give me their perfect advice.   They offered me opportunities and options to settle down.  I stopped listening and started acting.  And all that they promised and prophesized appeared to manifest.  However when the rough patches hit, my life went to shit.  When I would turn to others and ask for help, understanding or a temporary reprieve my words fell on deaf ears.

It has taken all this time for me to realize those people were where they wanted to be.  They were happy.  They became unhappy when I told them I was unfulfilled with the choices I had made.  The more I squawked, the more they would ramp up their efforts to force ‘compliance’.   My unhappiness threatened their belief that they had imparted the perfect guidance and counsel.  I mean, there was no way their advice may have been a misstep for me.

So today I tend keep to myself.  I share where I am on my journey.  I ask others where they believe they have journeyed on life’s path.  When I start hearing the ‘you should’ and the ‘you could’ statements flying about, I stay silent.   And then I keep whomever at an arm’s length.  I cannot live anyone’s idea of a joyful and creative life.  I want mine.  Simply mine.

Figuring It Out

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.” –Michael Burke

This is a follow up from yesterday.  And a clarification.

I am not turning into a man-hating or a cross-dress-basher.  What I have shared is about three incidents that occurred within 6 hours of each other at a fetish event.  I let three people know I was interested in them by letting them know I thought they were sexy and gorgeous.  Each person had their own way of conveying how much they wanted to please me.  Which is totally cool and appreciated.  What was not cool and not appreciated was the aggressive manner and brutish conduct I received once I let them know I was interested in becoming intimate.  Which truly shocked me.  I was attracted to these kind, polite, intelligent, funny T-girls.  However once I suggested a change to the relationship, I was dealing with horney, rammy guys wearing dresses.

I know many transgendered gals out there who are the belles of the ball.  And my relationships with them is strictly a ‘no sex’ relationships.  And my intention for writing these latest blogs is not to alienate them.  My reason is to let anyone reading this that I am taking a break from pursuing intimate relationships with T-gals until I can figure out what is fucked up with my filters.

I mean, what is up?  Am I too unreserved at events?  Am I dealing with a series of unfortunate situations so uncommon that I shouldn’t give such reactions any thought?  When I figure it out I’ll let you know.